How To Manage Working And Living With Toxic People

Angry, upset, toxic, blaming

 

I felt inspired to write about this topic because for one, I’m currently experiencing it. Secondly, a very good friend of mine is seeking my advice because she is going through a very tough time dealing with toxic family members who she can’t seem to cut the cords with.

We all go through this at different times in our lives, whether at work or at home.  Often, when we deal with this type of toxic energy, we feel drained of every ounce of energy we have.  Sometimes all that negative energy pent up within us manifests in physical form such as diseases and discomfort (headaches, body ache, etc.).  This happens because our energy field is disturbed and for some reason, we either choose to ignore it or do nothing about it.

The thing is, we can’t get rid of toxic, negative people around us.  At home or at work, wherever we go, whatever we do, we will always have a situation where we need to deal with people or situations that radiates toxic energy around them. 

If anyone tells you “This is how you get rid of toxic people!” – they’re lying.  You can’t possibly get rid of them.  That’s another Universal Law that none of us can change; the Law of Duality, there’s always positive and negative.  Both are from the same energy source, just vibrating at a different frequency.  The question is, which level of frequency do you choose to be in?

So, if we can’t get rid of them, how can we “manage” dealing with them?

Here are some ways that work for me when dealing with negative, toxic people.

Take a moment (if you can) to remove yourself from the situation:

Often, we react with our emotions.  It takes a great deal of self-discipline to think first before you react or say or do something that you can’t take back.  It is not impossible, but it is hard to hold back and take a moment to process first what just happened before we take actions.  But that’s exactly what we need to do.  Instead of “reacting”, take a moment to remove yourself from the situation, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and think:  What is this situation trying to teach me right now?  That brief quiet moment will not only bring you calm and clarity, it will also ease the tension.  And when you’re ready to face the situation again you will act, speak, and think appropriately.  As one of my favorite Rumi quote says, “Raise your words, not your voice.  It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

Think about the other person(s) or the negative situation with compassion:

When we get mad or upset, it’s usually because our ego is challenged.  That “I” part of us reasons with defensive arguments that focuses only on “our” feelings; how hurt we are, how disrespected we felt, we don’t deserve this, etc.  But not for a moment do we think about the other person or the negative circumstances we are faced with.  In the heat of the moment, it’s natural that we don’t because we are succumbed by our anger.  But that’s also another key to pivot our energy and look at the situation from a different perspective and with compassion. 

If you’re upset, how do you think the other person feels? 

Is what this person did or say (really) pertains to you? 

How could the situation have a different result? 

If it’s something you or anyone can’t help, how helpful would it be for yourself and others if you only focus on the problem, but not the solution? 

Seeing things in a different light with a compassionate heart also takes practice, and it’s not easy.  Especially when we are dealing with people whom we have a closer, intimate relationships with.  But when we practice it often, it will lead to a more harmonious relationship, a better working environment, and a more peaceful inner world.  And if our inner world is calm and peaceful, it will also reflect in our outer world.

Practice meditations and other self-care rituals or activities that can help you feel good.

I had a co-worker once who I noticed started putting on her headphones while working.  It piqued my interest, so I asked her when and why did she start doing that, and if the music help her concentrate more.  She replied with, “The music is good, but I do not use it for that reason.  This is my way of disconnecting myself from the negative talks that happens around me all day.  I don’t want to be a part of it, nor do I want to have anything to do with it.  So, I silence the distractions by putting on my headphone, listen to music and focus on my work.” 

In short, she found a way to deal with toxic people in a toxic environment.  She knew she can’t get rid of them, but she also doesn’t want to hold grudges or allow them to pull her in to their nonsense.  That’s self-care.  She knows when to disassociate herself from toxic people, and how to not get affected by them.  At the same time, she maintained a good working relationship with them while at work.

If you’re interested to learn more about different ways to help yourself feel better, I have a blog about Smart Tips For Looking and Feeling Your Best.  There are resources there that may be better suited for you, your work situation, and your lifestyle.

Meditation also works like a charm!  I wrote about Different Ways to Meditate and one of them is to take a few minutes out of your busy day to break away from your work activities and step outside.  Meditation doesn’t mean you have to have the complete setting with incense and soft pillows and picturesque background…just go outside and be in nature.  Stare at the trees, look at the birds, watch people, sit outside, feel the warmth of the sun, talk a quick walk, etc.  Anything that will give your mind a break, is a form of meditation. 

What do you get out of it?  Mental clarity.  Reduced stress.  Fresh air and the sun help calm your nerves.  Practice mindfulness.  Relieves / release negative emotions and toxic energy.  Overall, it promotes a healthy balance of mind and body.  And when you have clarity, you tend to react more with compassion and wisdom. 

 

These are the three things that I practice often (that works for me) when I’m dealing with a toxic person or a toxic situation.  

What do you think will work for you?

The most important thing to remember is, NEVER give your power away by allowing the toxicity of others around you, affect YOU! 

Figure out things you can do to work around these negative, toxic energy.  You can’t get rid of them so find ways to manage them that works for you.  There’s no one right way of handling it, but the more you practice, the better you get at it. 

 

That’s all for now my beautiful soul family.  Till next time. 

Sending you all highly charged positive, healing energy.  With love, light and joy.

The Juniper Gems blog exists for people in their journey of rediscovering their true, authentic self. Contact us for more info today! inquiry@junipergems.com

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