How My Spontaneous Spiritual Awakening Started

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Before my spiritual awakening, I often thought about spirituality as something that is related with religion and/or having a certain set of  beliefs.  I didn’t really understand what being “spiritual” meant, on a personal or religious level, and I was not one to be considered spiritual – or religious – at all. 

They say spiritual awakening is triggered when something profound happens to an individual.  Most of the time, it has to do with a health condition, or a tragic loss, or hitting rock bottom – perhaps losing everything one has.  Although I had a health scare back in 2018, I believe my spiritual awakening really started a couple years prior to that.  Looking back, now I understand why I had to have these 3 significant events in my life that propelled my spiritual awakening at full speed.  While recovering from my medical condition, I just couldn’t ignore the strong urge to seek answers to what my spirit wants me to know.  It forced me to dig deeper into rediscovering myself, who I AM, what my soul purpose is, and more than anything, understanding spirituality from a non-religious point of view.

Around 2015 is really when I started questioning my purpose for living. 

Who AM I? 

What am I here to do? 

What is my soul purpose?  

For someone looking in, one would think that my life is probably close to being ideal.  I was fortunate to have the opportunity to be a stay-at home Mom for about a decade.  We’re not rich by any means, but thankfully my husband’s income is sufficient to support a family of four.  Even with one income alone, we were able to manage our finances well that we could afford to have savings, go on vacations, pay the bills and mortgage, and provide for our two growing children.  While I managed to stay home and raise our children, my husband worked hard to make sure we also have the financial security to support our family. 

You can say that was an “ideal life” – or close to it.  I absolutely loved the fact that I didn’t have to juggle work and family life when my kids were younger.  When people ask, I always say that is not something to brag about, rather, something to be grateful for, because it was a golden opportunity that for many, is not an option at all.  I didn’t miss a single field trips or school events.  My kids were well-taken care of and were used to home-cooked meals growing up.  I gave up my career, yes, but I gained so much more by raising my children.  All these beautiful things I have in my life…and yet I woke up one day, reflecting and observing how my life turned out, that’s when this question struck me:   IS THIS IT?   Is this what I am?  Is this all I’m meant to do?

Before you start assuming I was feeling ungrateful and started wanting more, that was not the case at all.  On the contrary, it’s quite the opposite.  I started feeling that maybe I’m meant to do something else.  I can’t say I felt empty, because I was content and happy with how my life turned out.  But something inside me..a little spark lit up…and deep down I felt like my soul had to have a purpose for being here, besides being a mother and a wife.  Whatever it is, I needed to find the answer, because somehow I knew this can’t be it?  Right?  There’s something more.  There must be. 

While I struggled internally, trying to find answers, I thought maybe I just needed to do something different.  So, I promised myself that on my 40th birthday, I will celebrate and welcome a new chapter in my life by doing something I’m passionate about.  I had no idea what it would be then, so I spent the next two years figuring out what my talents and skills are, but most importantly, I had to figure out what I really love doing.  On the month of my 40th birthday in 2017, I launched my home staging business.  

A year passed, and everything in my life was going well.  My first year in business was a success that I even went to one of the most highly regarded home staging conferences that many talented designers and home stagers all over the world attend.  I thought, “This must be it!”  Everything’s coming together, like puzzle pieces, what more could I possibly ask for?  So, right at that moment I decided I will stop entertaining these non-sense thoughts about my soul-purpose, etc.  I’m over it.  I should just be happy and content with what I have, accept what is, be grateful for it and carry on.

Yet, there’s still that inner voice inside me that’s telling me “No.  This is not it.” 

The circumstances that followed, I believe, is when my spirit guides really picked up the pace, shook me hard and redirected my path once again.

2015 may be the year when that little spark in my soul lighted up, but it was in mid-August of 2018 when another pivotal moment of my spiritual awakening happened.  On that day, I woke up feeling like my energy just literally drained out of my body.  Physically, I felt like a candle that was about to go out.  My children were home at that time because school hasn’t started yet.  That week I was busy preparing and making sure they have everything they need before the school year begins.  Typical mom-duties I do every year, so I brushed off the sickly feeling, and thought I just needed to rest and catch up on sleep.  But that morning was different; I just knew something was wrong.  Although I felt very tired, I still had to get up and make breakfast for the kids.  The moment I sipped my hot coffee and took a small bite of a toast, my entire world started spinning!  I was feeling so nauseous that I don’t even know how I managed to run to the bathroom before I started vomiting.  I’ve had a bad case of stomach flu before, but this was different.  I’ve never felt this sick in my entire life.  Long story short, my son ended up assisting me from the bathroom to my bedroom.  I was so weak that I didn’t even make it to my bed.  I remember telling my son if I can just lie down on the floor because I cannot tolerate any movement at all.  He called his dad (I asked him not to call 911) and about 15 minutes later my husband was home, he helped me change and carried me to the car.  I spent that whole day in the ER.

After two huge bags of IV fluids and several lab works done, I found out that my liver was not functioning as a normal liver should.  That explains all the other symptoms I was feeling (for months!) leading up to that day.  The doctor said that the reason why I couldn’t keep anything in (solid food or liquid) was because my body was starting to reject everything.  My liver was so bad that its function had slowed down drastically.  They gave me some meds, scheduled several follow-up visits and more lab works for the next 3 months.  My doctor also put me on medical leave for at least 8 weeks until my liver function stabilizes.  I was told not to do any strenuous activities, to rest as soon as I feel tired, and avoid stress.  

As a full-time mom, a home stager, and a part-time teacher – those were all part of my daily “jobs”, so at that time I didn’t know how fast or if I can even recover from this condition at all.  I can’t stop what I do for my family every day, I have to care for my kids regardless, and never mind the staging projects and commitments I made prior to this incident.

This experience left me wondering how this could have happened. 

Why at this point in my life, when things are finally going so well?

What did I miss?  How could I have prevented this?

For the next three months I was trying to get better, but now the internal struggle I had with myself was even more chaotic than it was before.  I just couldn’t figure out why this happened.  Then a thought crossed my mind…what is the purpose of all this?  There must be a reason why it happened.  There’s no way it’s a coincidence that it happened during the time when I decided I will not entertain any more thoughts and feelings I had about my soul-purpose.  I was finally settling and accepting this is who I am, and whatever I was doing at that time is what I’m meant to do.  So, why would Source (God, the Universe, Higher Being – whatever term you want to use) play this cruel joke on me?  It just didn’t make sense.

Thanksgiving 2018 was the third and most significant moment of my spiritual awakening.  My family didn’t know that I was still recovering from a medical condition at that time.  Besides my husband and my kids, I chose not to disclose it to any family members.  I didn’t want anyone, especially my mom to worry.  That night, after everyone left, I was about done cleaning when my daughter asked if I could lie down with her and watch Netflix until she falls asleep.  I was tired anyway, so I was more than happy to comply.  As soon as I  logged in, the first video on my “recommended” list was the movie called, “The Secret”.  It caught my attention, yes, but it wasn’t something I was in the mood to watch that night.  So, I continued to browse, and for some odd reason that movie kept coming up even when I was browsing through a different genre.  Yes, it weirded me out too.  My daughter finally said, “There it is again Mommy!  That looks like something you would watch.”  I even made fun of it and said what secret could it possibly reveal, and I still continued to skip it.  But my daughter kept insisting, and she said, “There it is again!  I think we need to watch it.”  Which is another weird thing because it’s something she would not be interested in, let alone watch it with me!  So, I clicked on it…and my world hasn’t been the same since that night.

Funny, how synchronicity plays out when your spirit guides really step in and help steer your path to the path you’re meant to be on.  I know it wasn’t “just a thought” when I started questioning what my soul-purpose is.  I know it wasn’t a coincidence when I fell ill because that experience only intensified that urge within me to explore and discover who I AM, and what I am here to do.  I know it wasn’t a coincidence that my daughter made me watch a documentary that I wouldn’t have seen otherwise.  

Although that video was about Law of Attraction and how we can easily manifest the things we dream of having in life, the message that came across to me has nothing to do with manifesting money or material things, it has more to do with spirituality, understanding consciousness – our soul, our spirit – and the knowing that we are the creators of our own lives.  That profound realization opened my mind to understanding the power we all have within us, and how we can tap into that wisdom and knowledge that was suppressed within us because at some point in our lives we were conditioned to have certain beliefs. 

Those beliefs clouded our minds, limited our abilities to see, and prevented us from realizing who we really are.  Understanding who we are, our connection to the Universe, our connection to each other, and everything around us – that is spirituality.  Only then I realized that being spiritual has nothing to do with any religion nor a specific set of beliefs, it’s the “knowing” that we are all spiritual beings, a soul within a body, we are all connected, and that we all came here with a purpose. 

Since that Thanksgiving night in 2018, I’ve considered myself a student of wisdom and spirituality.  I started following and listened to several spiritual teachers like Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh, Neville Goddard, Allan Watts, Abraham Hicks, Dandapani, and many more. These teachers have been my “manual” in understanding my own spiritual journey.  

It’s been four years, and yet, I still feel like I just started on this path.  There is just so much more to learn and discover.  I’m still going through my spiritual awakening, and I can tell you this much – it’s not always a pleasant experience.  There are highs and lows in this journey, but I’m here for it.  It brings me comfort to know that I am always guided and what is ready to be revealed will be, when I am ready to receive it. 

For instance, I never thought I would start a blog about spirituality and personal development.  If you would’ve told me 5 years ago that I will be writing about this type of experience, and posting it on the web for the world to see, I would’ve told you that you’re beyond crazy.  I most certainly did not expect that all those experiences will lead me here.  This was never on my radar, but again, my spirit – my soul – knows better.  Creating this blog site is one of those things that, I believe, I’m being guided to do.  Writing and connecting with people like you and sharing my stories and experiences about my own spiritual and personal development – THESE are all part of my spiritual journey. 

So, I hope we can continue to share our experiences, from a spiritual perspective, with each other.  I will be writing about topics or ideas that I’m guided to write about.  My only hope is that my readers enjoy the contents that I will publish, and for every blog article you read from this site, find what resonates with your soul.  Remember, we are all guided in everything we do…and you being here, reading this, is not a coincidence either.  There’s something here for you.  I pray that you find the clarity you are seeking,  and the guidance you need in your own spiritual journey.  

Love – light – and joy to all of you beautiful souls!

Namaste